


i've got to get a move on with my life

by ShanleenKinnJaskey



Series: Coming Back As We Are [10]
Category: Glee
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apologies, Depression, M/M, Past Abuse, Timeline What Timeline, William McKinley High School, blam friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShanleenKinnJaskey/pseuds/ShanleenKinnJaskey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine turns to him as he slides his books into his satchel and snaps it shut, determination on his face. "I have to do this, Sam. It'll help me out- music and dancing are my outlet, my relief. Hopefully I won't need them as much anymore, but either way I love glee. I may not always like the people, but I can put up with them." He smiles mirthlessly. "After all, except for you and the people in glee, who else do I have at this school?"</p><p>One-shot look at Blaine's life as he readjusts after the mugging and the revelations to everyone about his home life, as well as a look into his relationships with everyone afterwards. Takes place between episodes 4x06 and 4x07, as well as during Chapter 5 of Everything I Gave You.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've got to get a move on with my life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chereche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chereche/gifts), [Scrapmom2112](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrapmom2112/gifts).



> Title is from "Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)" by Fergie.
> 
> And yes, Blam is my BroTP as much as Klaine is my OTP. I mean, have you /seen/ Dynamic Duets?
> 
> Also, I've probably screwed /so/ hard with the time line, but oh well. This fic gives me an excuse to set up for my rewrite of Dynamic Duets and make Blaine sing "Dark Side" early. Also, I know that this plot line puts two weeks of duets next to each other, but once again oh well. My 'verse, my rules.
> 
> Also, THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE WITHOUT READING THE PREVIOUS STORY IN THIS SERIES!

_"'Cause he's stronger than you know_

_A heart of steel starts to grow_

_When you've been fighting for it all your life_

_You've been struggling to make things right_

_That's how a superhero learns to fly_

_Every day, every hour, turn the pain into power..."_

_~The Script_ , Superheroes

 

_“We dance round in a ring and suppose,_

_While the secret sits in the middle and knows."_

_~Robert Frost_

 

It's been three weeks since Blaine arrived at the Hummels', and he's going back to school today. Sam makes a point of talking to Blaine everyday and updating him on school. Everyday he tells Blaine that everyone misses him and wants him back. Blaine has a hard time believing him as he remembers the weeks after the break up, when he could barely get up in the morning.

 _His body was heavy, his heart dark and dismal, and everything was absolute_ pain _. Without Kurt's voice to lull him to sleep at night, without the prospect of Skyping Kurt on his really bad days, Blaine started to deteriorate._

_And unlike old times, when he forced himself into acting normal on the outside while he slowly died on the inside, this time he_

_Just._

_Stopped._

_Caring._

_Not that anyone seemed to notice the shadows under his eyes or his almost non-existent appetite or the disheveled state of his hair as compared to normal- no one commented on it, whether negatively or positively. In fact, besides Sam, no one seemed to even want to talk to him._

_So the inevitable happened- Blaine fell, as he'd always feared, and he shattered. The days passed in a haze of classes, sleep, grief, and insults. He stopped caring about school and glee (After all, what was the point of accomplishing anything when he didn't have anyone to share it with?), and barely ate. He passed the days listlessly, sitting in the back of the room and not volunteering for solos during glee, picking at his food during meals, and not even reacting to his parents' jabs. Practice for Grease passed by without him lifting a finger, but worst of all was that_ no one seemed to notice a thing _._

He'd gone through absolute emotional and physical hell and no one had cared to notice, so why would he want to go back to the people who'd said they were his friends but in the end hadn't cared enough to see the truth?

Well, it doesn't matter, he's going back anyway. He needs this to become a teacher. He'll get a high school diploma, and a college degree, and hopefully a future with Kurt. He sighs a little as he straightens his shirt and adjusts his bowtie as he examines himself in the mirror. He still has the same hazel eyes, dark hair, and thick eyebrows as before, but something is different. Maybe it's the fact that he's letting his curls free, or maybe it's that his smile isn't a façade. This small, weak thing curve of his lips upwards is nervous, sure, but it is genuine. He takes a deep breath, staring into his own eyes. He _can_ do this.

A knock sounds at the door. He turns, grabs his new-old satchel (bought at Goodwill to replace the old one that had been in his car the night he'd been mugged and the keys stolen) from the bed, and walks over to open the door. A smile spreads across his face as he sees Kurt leaning against the doorway, already dressed for a day's work in coveralls and a cap. The sight of Kurt in coveralls is no longer as jarring as it was the day he first witnessed it, back while he was still recovering...

"You ready for your first day back?" Kurt asks with a small smile.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Blaine replies in a slightly apprehensive tone. Yes, he knows he needs to go back, and he _is_ looking forward to hanging out with Sam in school without the Hudmel clan (because as much as he's grown to love them, he needs friends separate from Kurt and his family if he's ever going to get back to normal), but that doesn't mean he has to be happy about returning to the place that helped finally drive him over the edge he'd tried to keep himself from all his life.

"I'm right here if you need me, Blaine," Kurt says, and Blaine realizes (with a rush of pleasant warmth) that, of course, Kurt picked up on his tone. "Just remember that, okay? If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. That promise back last Christmas worked both ways, even if I never made that clear. Anything you need, I'll be here."

Blaine already knows that, of course- Kurt's made that very clear in the past few weeks, if not in so many words. To be reminded of last year, when things had been so easy and fun between them as compared to now, is not the best way to start out what is most likely going to be a very stressful day. Still, it gives Blaine courage to know that Kurt will be there whenever he needs him- that they'll both be there whenever they need each other. He steps forward and gives Kurt a quick hug, and thank God that it doesn't feel awkward anymore to wrap his arms around the man he loves.

"Thanks, Kurt," he says, leaning back. He looks at Kurt and finds that his...friend? Love? Boyfriend? (They hadn't discussed what they considered each other now. It was obviously more than a friendship, as they kissed on the cheek and told each other that they loved each other on a regular basis, but after everything that's happened between the two of them, how they both feel like they've screwed up, they've been moving slowly and he has no idea where they really are) is grinning.

"Just say hi to everyone for me, okay?" Kurt says lightly, "Even if it _is_ a cesspool of inbreeding and I don't know everyone yet, I'll be going to all of the competitions with you guys to support you and Finn so the new kids are _going_ to get to know me better whether they like it or not."

Blaine can't help but smile widely as he and Kurt walk down to breakfast. He knows Kurt is trying to distract them both from the more serious topic looming ahead, but he needs a distraction and he's glad Kurt can sense that.

***

Blaine passes through his classes only paying attention to his teachers. He steadfastly ignores his fellow Glee members, excluding Sam, preferring to not focus on them and only focusing on making up what he missed. He sits stiffly in classes, just waiting for the taunts and insults from the bullies to start up again. Sam tries his best to comfort him and get him to relax, but it doesn't really work that well. There's too much nervous tension settling into him at the thought of returning to a place that didn't care enough to notice that he was being abused.

***

"You know you don't have to go back to Glee if you don't want to, right?" Sam says as Blaine closes his locker.

Blaine turns to him as he slides his books into his satchel and snaps it shut, determination on his face. "I have to do this, Sam. It'll help me out- music and dancing are my outlet, my relief. Hopefully I won't need them as much anymore, but either way I love glee. I may not always like the people, but I can put up with them." He smiles mirthlessly. "After all, except for you and the people in glee, who else do I have at this school?"

Sam doesn't reply, temporarily shocked into silence, instead just walking silently with Blaine to Glee.

***

Despite his outward façade of being unperturbed, Blaine actually is incredibly scared of what is going to happen when he walks through the door into Glee. Everyone knows now what he's been hiding all of last year, as well as what happened with his father and how he ran away. How differently are they going to treat him now that they know? He was comfortable with their stares last year as they were empty of meaning as no one knew the truth, but now that everyone knows...well, he doesn't know if he can handle them judging him for it.

Blaine takes a deep breath and walks into the choir room next to Sam, trying to keep his knees from shaking from nervousness, and looks out at a group of people he's not sure he trusts. At first, no one moves, but then Tina comes up to him and envelops him in a hug.

"I'm sorry, Blaine," she says as he freezes, phantom pain flashing through his mind at the pressure around his ribs, "I can't believe none of us noticed except for Sam. I'm so, _so_  sorry."

"It's okay, Tina," he says kindly, and even though they both know that he doesn't quite mean it she leans back with a watery smile on her face. She opens her mouth to speak but before she can say anything someone scoffs behind them.

"Nobody cares," a voice says dismissively, "Can we just continue with the lesson?"

 _Nobody cares about you_ , his mother's cold voice echoes in his head, _You're **worthless.**_

Blaine flinches, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, but Sam steps forward with the angriest expression that Blaine has ever seen on his face. "Don't you _dare_ say that about him," he hisses at Kitty, the one who made the comment, "Don't you fucking _dare_. Take that back."

"It's fine, Sam," Blaine says hollowly, placing a hand on his friend's arm without daring to look at Kitty lest the lump in his throat overpower his ability to speak, "Let's just get started."

"Nah, man, Tina's right," Artie says, and Blaine whips around, eyes wide, to look at the former director, who's currently looking at Kitty with an expression of anger. Sam he knew about, Tina might even have been expected, but _Artie_? Artie, a guy Blaine has no ties to other than the play and glee club, is apologizing with Tina? Has the world gone _insane_? "We've all been jerks and damn fools," Artie says as he wheels over, "And even if you and us weren't all that close we should have _at least_  noticed something over the last few weeks like Sam did."

"Um...thanks?" Blaine replies, blown away by the fact that not only is Artie _apologizing_ for something Blaine accepted (albeit with a twinge of disappointment and frustration) ages ago, but is actually defending him against Kitty's familiar words? Wow.

Artie just throws him a determined half-smile and a nod. Blaine glances around at last year's veterans and finds with the same sort of looks on their faces, ones caught between apologetic and determined.

He walks over to his regular seat with Sam beside him. As he sits down he realizes he's been clenching his satchel with white-knuckled fingers and instantly lets go. Yes, Artie and Tina apologized, but he still feels uncomfortable, maybe even not entirely safe. Kitty's words hit somewhere far too close to home, carving themselves in among thousands of old emotional scars. He'd thought, last night when he'd made the decision to come back to our school, that he'd be fine. He was planning on just shrugging off any insults, but he should have known. He should have known that he wasn't going to be able to make it. He should have known he isn't strong enough...

He feels the familiar sting of tears prick at the corners of his eyes as Finn enters the room and he tries to discreetly blink them away, all the while feeling a heavy lump forming in his chest. His fingers find their way around the handle of his satchel again, gripping tightly in attempt to hold onto sanity, and he doesn't try to stop them this time.

[Finn](http://s.sidereel.com/cms/posts/259082/large/uploaded_file20130717-31846-s3hrxc.) walks to the front of the room and picks up a marker to write his lesson plan (the one he and Kurt had spent all of last night working on) on the board, but not before sending a questioning glance Blaine's direction. Blaine sends an attempt at a reassuring smile in reply, not wanting to worry Finn, and it's not entirely a lie. It does somewhat lessen the weight in his chest to be reminded of how Finn has already kind of adopted Blaine into the family and watches out for him as much as he watches out for Kurt. Finn grins at Blaine, turns to the board, and writes "KELLY CLARKSON" on the board, then turns back to the group.

"Okay, so this week we're splitting into duets and singing songs by Kelly Clarkson. I thought it would be a nice, easy way to transition back into things after the great performances last week of Grease," Finn announces to the group, and Blaine's kind of proud of how well Finn's handling himself considering how nervous he was last night.

Sam immediately turns to Blaine. "So, you and me, right, dude?"

Blaine offers him a slight smile in return, squashing down his lingering unease and pushing away the heaviness in his chest. "Of course," he replies, "Any ideas?"

Sam grins. "So, I was thinking...and how about  _Dark Side?_ "

Blaine's fake smile morphs into a real one as he quickly runs over the lyrics in his head. "Actually, that sounds perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> So, should I continue with another chapter, or post one-shot rewrites of Dynamic Duets and the Klaine Christmas scene?
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you liked and constructive criticism if you don't!


End file.
